The Transition Curve

I'm not sure if any of you have ever heard about or seen the transition curve. It is a document with all the different feelings you might encounter when going through changes or transitions. The SIM Nigeria personnel director showed it to me and asked if I had been feeling any of the emotions mentioned/could I relate at all to the transition curve. After taking some time to look at it, I was able to think back over the past 2-3 weeks I have spent here and remember moments when I was feeling some of the emotions mentioned. I think taking some time now to let you know what I realized will be helpful in keeping you up to date on how I am doing and how you can better pray for me.

The curve is basically in the shape of a "v" or a "u". There are three main parts of the curve. The top of the left side is ENDINGS. At the bottom is the NEUTRAL ZONE. At the top right is the NEW BEGINNING.

Under ENDINGS the feelings, in order, are disengagement, disidentification, celebration, disenchantment, closure, disorientation, contentment, denial, and disappointment.  The first few days here I think I could relate to feeling disidentification, disenchantment, disorientation, and disappointment. I was in a new environment, meeting new people. There wasn't much familiar to me and not much for me to identify with at first. I think I was amazed I was actually in Nigeria and didn't know what to do with myself. Like I mentioned in previous posts, I had a lot of rest time the first week here and that just made it harder for me. There are so many sounds, smells, and sights that I am not used to here. I was a bit disoriented. The disappointment came when I realized I had expectations and those expectations were not fulfilled (more on this later).

Under NEUTRAL ZONE the feelings, in order, are emptiness, chaos, confusion, anxiety, low productivity, and discovery. Some feelings I could relate to are chaos, confusion, anxiety, and low productivity. I am a planner and like to know what's going on. I have quickly figured out that I am just going to have to get over that while I am here. Almost nothing goes according to plan. Still, I needed to make a tentative schedule for myself. It has been a bit chaotic trying to decide how to spend my time. The confusion has come with several plans falling through. I wake up each morning not knowing exactly what i'm going to do that day. Some days I feel anxious because I want to be doing more than I am. I think this also has to do with my expectations that I didn't realize I had. I haven't felt very productive since being here but maybe my view of productivity is different from God's view. Playing, sitting, and going over the alphabet with children does not seem productive to me. But spending time with these orphans is showing God's love to them and showing God's love to others is never a waste. I think God is trying to teach me about what being productive means and how people are more important than accomplishing tasks.

Under the NEW BEGINNING the feelings, in order, are reorientation, inner realignment, feelings of motivation, anticipation, and embracing new dreams and visions. Adena, the personnel director, said that it can take a while to come out of the NEUTRAL ZONE and into the NEW BEGINNING. She said that it is very possible for me to never experience the NEW BEGINNING emotions during my 2 months here. I would say that I am currently in the NEUTRAL ZONE. Sometimes I feel sad that I may never reach the NEW BEGINNING. Then I have to remind myself that God's timing is perfect.

I hope that this post hasn't got any of you thinking that I am not enjoying my time here. Oh, quite contrary! I am very glad that I am here. God is teaching and growing me in ways I would not have expected. I guess that's what He does, right?

The highlights

 I went to terminus (the big market-place in Jos) with Angie and we went to the secondhand clothing market. It was overwhelming. There are heaps of clothing and Nigerians shouting the prices at you begging you to buy something. I went away empty-handed.

I made Gote with Angie. It is a Nigerian soup with vegetables and some type of grain. Nigerians like everything spicy so of course there was some pepper in it too.

I went to a Galentines Party on the 15th. We made pancakes, chatted, played fish bowl, and watched an episode from the show Miranda.

We had an Indian lunch to say goodbye to the Cowies (compound manager and personnel director the past 6 years) who were leaving to go back to their home in New Zealand.

Went to Gyero - taught 3rd grade spelling and helped 1st graders work on their reading. After teaching the spelling class a little girl came up to me and said, "Aunty, I like your teaching. I want you to be my teacher."

Went to the widows. The widows is another part of city ministries. Widows come, learn how to sew, and learn about God. After one year of being there they earn a sewing machine and can start their own business. I went there with Kauna to get my first Nigerian outfit made.

Went to Gidan Bege and hung out with the 14 new orphans. These 14 boys came in just after Christmas. Worked on some ABCs with them.

Went in my first Keke (not sure if that's how it's spelled. I abbreviate it to KK). KKs are a main form of transportation in Jos. There used to be a bunch of motorcycles but those were outlawed because of the dangerous wrecks.

Made banana bread.

Got rid of a bird nest that was right outside my apartment.

Made a bead bracelet with a Nigerian friend and then went shopping with her.

Made a Nigerian meal with a friend from Germany.

Went on a walk with a couple from England.

It was a good week. It was much busier. God has been teaching me a lot so far during my 2-3 weeks here. Hopefully I will get some time to share later on. In the meantime, some prayer requests:

• Pray for the village of Gyero! There has been unrest out there and people have been killed. This has made it difficult for me to go out there.
• Pray for safety. I know there is truly no "safe" place in the world but for some reason America does feel safer. Some nights I hear sounds like fireworks but I know that there are no fireworks here.
• Pray that I would be able to show love to the orphans. Many of them are desperate for love and attention.
• Pray for my relationship with Delight. Delight is a Nigerian girl who sells food on the corner near my compound.

Getting into the culture

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I'm going to try to summarize so this post isn't ridiculously long.

I am finished with orientation! I just finished yesterday and it's good to be getting into the ministry now. Tuesday was the last day of planned meals for me. Last Thursday-Tuesday (my first 6 days here) I had meals planned for me. Starting Wednesday I was on my own. I really enjoyed having meals with other missionaries and their families. I liked seeing their homes and eating in a home with other people. It's not so fun eating by yourself. Looking at my schedule, I think I am going to be sharing meals with people regularly. The only nights I don't have something planned are Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. I'll have to see what I can do and who I can eat with. During my first week here (I have been in Jos over a week now!) I ate most of my lunches at restaurants around town. The ones I went to include Elysar, Southern Fried Chicken, King's Bite, and Afri-One. They're all pretty good.

One of my favorite parts about orientation was the cultural orientation with Kauna. I really enjoy talking with Kauna. She knows a lot about the Nigerian culture and what she has to say is very interesting. She took me "downtown" and we walked in the market. The market is a bit overwhelming. There are so many people, sounds, and smells. There are a lot of fruits, vegetables, and potatoes but there is also a lot of food that I don't recognize. Kauna helped me pick out cloth to have my first Nigerian outfit made. It will be worn on Sundays. The outfits here are so unique because you pick out fabric among hundreds of options and design what you want your outfit to look like. Still not sure what design I am going to do yet.

Yesterday was ministry orientation. A lady named Anna-Karen did that with me. We actually ended up spending the whole day together. It was great! We made a tentative schedule and talked about what I might be doing. Here is the sched: Monday - Gyero, Tuesday - Gidan Bege, Wednesday - Gyero, Thursday - Gidan Bege, Friday - Gyero, Saturday & Sunday - Girl's Transition House. She said it is always better to add in activities rather than take away. So we are going to see how this schedule works and how I am feeling and if I still have time to spare, I will add in more. At both Gyero and Gidan Bege I am going to be helping out with the school and hanging with the children. Gyero is a rural village where a city ministries center is located. There are about 130 children there. All of them are orphans. They have house parents at Gyero and there is a school. Gidan Bege is a center in Jos for orphaned boys. There are 14 boys there right now. I will share more on both places later. I am not exactly sure what I am going to be doing at the girl's transition house. Another exciting thing I might be doing is teaching swim lessons. Somehow the fact that I teach swim lessons came up in conversation and it sounds like some missionaries would be interested in me teaching their children. It's not definite but it would be cool if I could use that to help out.

While I was with Anna-Karen we got some suya and massa for lunch. Supposedly it's a pretty popular food here. I also had fried yam and a bean cake this morning. I love trying new food from different cultures. Kauna told me that Nigerians like spicy food. She was surprised when I told her that I like spicy. Most Americans don't.

Last night George, a man who owns a house on my compound, cooked dinner for me and the three other ladies on my compound. It was a Valentine's celebration and it was super nice of him. He's an excellent cook and he makes his own chapmans. A chapman is a type of tropical drink here. We had yummy food, made s'mores in the oven, listened to love songs from movies, and had good conversation. I enjoy talking with the missionaries here and listening to their view of Nigeria and where it's headed.

Today I went to Gyero for the first time since 2012. I remembered a few people and a few people remembered me. I helped Anna-Karen with some things and visited each classroom. I'm going to be teaching a few classes to help some of the teachers out. One of the teachers specifically asked me to teach his writing class.

A Nigerian Church

On Sunday I went to church with Gay Lynn and Angie (two SIM missionaries living on my same compound). They both have cars so it was convenient for me to go with them. They go to ECWA seminary church. It is on the JETS compound. JETS stands for Jos Evangelical Theological Seminary. The ECWA theme for 2014 is PREACH THE WORD. The verse is 2 Timothy 4:2. Their motto is FOLLOW IN HIS STEPS - 1 Peter 2:21.

The music was beautiful. They have a band and a choir and I just loved their voices.

 Most churches here have two services. One in Hausa and one in English. I was talking with a Nigerian, Delight, and she said she goes to the english service. I asked her why, thinking that maybe it was so that she could learn the language better. She said she understands the english service better. Nigerians grow up learning english in schools so many times they can read and write english better than they can hausa. The service I went to was in English.

After the worship time it was time to greet the guests. All of the first-time guests had to stand up and introduce themselves in the microphone. It was a little intimidating. After all the guests introduced themselves there was time for people to come and shake your hand.

The sermon was on Colossians 1:15-23. I thought that was interesting since I read through Colossians on my way to Nigeria. The main topic the pastor was trying to convey was the supremacy of Christ. He talked about Christ's supremacy expressed in His person (vs. 15-20) and expressed in His works (vs. 21-23).

I'm not sure which church I am going to go to regularly while I am here. It is convenient for me to go to the JETS church because I would have a ride and someone to go with. I don't really want to go to church alone. I do want to get to at least one service in Hausa while I am here.

life update

avocado tree in my backyard

Just wanted to give you an update on what living has been like these past couple days. It has felt slow and somewhat lonely. As you know, I am living in my own apartment. I guess SIM is wanting to ease me into my time in Jos so I haven't been very busy. I think they don't want to overwhelm me with information while I'm trying to get over jet-lag.

On Friday I managed to sleep until 8. Sleeping has been difficult. It's hard for me to fall asleep. I didn't have any hives Wednesday or Thursday so I was super excited. Sadly, I woke up with more on Friday. Praise God my eyes haven't swollen! At about 9:30 Kauna, an SIM missionary from Jos who has spent some time living in the west, picked me up and we walked to the SIM headquarters. Headquarters is right across the street from me. She introduced me to the staff there and I had two informational meetings. One was about travel and the other was about internet. During the travel meeting I learned that immigration only marked my passport to stay until March 3. Even though I told them I was staying until April 3, they stamped me for one month. This means SIM is going to send my passport somewhere to get that extended. Immigration is just trying to get as much money out of me as possible. At the internet meeting I learned that I can get wifi at SIM headquarters and I also bought an internet modem. It was pricy but it allows me to get internet in my apartment. These information meetings were over by about 11. I went back to my compound and read underneath the avocado tree. That evening I went to the Fretheims to have dinner with a bunch of other SIM missionaries.

Yesterday Gay Lynn showed me the shops around the corner from me. The shops are very convenient and have a bunch of basic items. I haven't had to buy any ingredients because I've had meals arranged for me so far. I start cooking for myself on Wednesday. We also walked more downtown and got some lunch and ice cream. For dinner we went to Niger Creek (an SIM compound) and shared a meal with other missionaries.

That is a quick summary of my past couple days. Here are some prayer requests:

+Pray that I wouldn't be lonely. Another short-termer who lived in my apartment a few years ago said she felt lonely too. Everyone else living in my compound kind of keeps to themselves. Pray that I would find ways to get involved so I don't have to be in my apartment by myself too much.
+I have been in Jos for 4 days now and I feel like there is a lot of "nothingness". I'm hoping this is just because it is the very beginning for me. I talked with some other missionaries who said they went through the same thing. At least I'm not the only one. Pray that I would know where to get involved and what relationships to build.
+Continue to pray for my hives. They have not gone away.

Getting to Jos

a snowy landing in JFK

For those of you wondering how the trip from Charlotte to Jos was…..

It was very smooth. Didn't really run into any complications. There were no close calls where I almost missed a flight. Not really anything major. I had a significant amount of leg room on the 7 hour flight from JFK to Paris. Somehow, even though I took two Benadryl, I wasn't able to sleep. I saw next to a man who seemed to speak French and English. We didn't really talk. He slept and watched movies most of the way. I was looking forward to watching a movie but there wasn't anything interesting. I tried to sleep and I read. After landing in Paris I had to go through security again but the airport was so empty it was a cinch. I ended up going through security at every airport. I had about 5 hours in the Paris airport yet couldn't sleep. I read a good bit of Les Miserables. The airport was exactly how I remembered it from the last time I traveled to Nigeria. It's definitely not as fun traveling by yourself. I slept the whole flight from Paris to Abuja. It was off and on but it was good. At one point, the flight attendant woke me up and I remember having a conversation along the lines of…..

him: "Do you want something to drink?"

me: "no"

him: "Do you want something to eat?"

me: "no"

him: "Do you want to sleep?"

me: "yes"

I guess it was pretty obvious that I was tired. We landed in Abuja around 5. I didn't have any trouble at immigration, baggage, or customs. The airport officials were all very friendly. Danjuma (one of SIM's drivers) picked me up from the airport and we drove to the Baptist Guest House in Jos for the night. It was difficult sleep that night. The next morning we left around 8 for Jos. We stopped roughly 15 times because of military checkpoints and car registration stops. At one of the checkpoints one of the guards said he wanted to follow me back to America. He gave me his phone number. We made it to the Challenge compound at noon. Gay Lynn, one of the SIM missionaries living at Challenge, showed me to my apartment and told me about some of the quirks in my room. The main quirk about mine is that the toilet doesn't flush very well. My apartment is facing the street so it's pretty loud. Sleeping right near a busy street with honking cars is going to take some getting used to. That night I had dinner with the other missionaries living at Challenge. It was a goodbye dinner to a couple who are leaving in a week. 

2 Corinthians 4:6

Psalm 25

Praying through Colossians

flowers along the wall in my compound

I am here! I have arrived safely in Jos. It is so good to be here and I have such a peace that God wants me here right now. I left Charlotte Tuesday morning with hives. They were actually worse on Tuesday than they were on Monday. That was a bit unnerving knowing I was going to be away and the hives could get worse. Good news! The hives are better today. Now I am having a hard time figuring out whether I have bug bites or hives….

On the flight from Charlotte to JFK I read some in Colossians. Four main things stood out to me.

1. We need to pray for each other (the body of Christ) and thank God for one another. We are all one family that Christ has put together. [Col. 1:3-14] I am so thankful for all of you who are praying for me!

2. Christ is above all and in control of everything [Col. 1:15-20]

3. The Gospel is good news! [Col. 1:21-23]

4. I have been taught my whole life by my parents and other godly adults about what it means and what it looks like to live for Christ. Now it is my turn to take what I have learned and live for Him. [Col. 2:6-4:5]

Here are some ways you can pray Colossians for me:

1. That I would be devoted to prayer - 4:2

2. Pray that God would open a door in Nigeria so that I can proclaim the mystery of Christ - 4:3

3. Pray that I may proclaim the gospel clearly - 4:4

4. Pray that I would be wise in the way I act - 4:5

5. Pray that I would make the most of every opportunity - 4:5

6. Pray for my conversations with others - 4:6

7. Pray that I would do everything as unto the Lord - 3:23-24, 17

8. Pray that the word of Christ would dwell in me - 3:16

Broken and Headed to Africa

I'm not sure how many of you reading this post know about the health issues I have encountered the past month. It has been a difficult 3 weeks and I feel like God is breaking me. 

About three weeks ago I broke out in a case of hives. We still don't know what the cause of them is. But I still have them. They last for about 24 hours but every morning I wake up with new ones. They itch and sting and are very irritating. When I first got them I thought they would go away after about a week. Now I am not at all sure when they are going to go away. 

My Mom has been incredible. She has researched, talked to doctors, bought me medicine, loved me, etc. Everything any human could do, she has done. I went to an allergist but the things I am allergic to would not be causing hives for this long. I didn't just start taking an antibiotic that I might be allergic to. I didn't change my diet. Nothing has changed. The doctors say I have very sensitive skin. I switched to all natural shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I am now washing my clothes in a fragrance free laundry soap. I got some medicine I can take and a cream that seems to reduce the itch. It has helped to make me more comfortable but it doesn't seem to get rid of the hives. Desperate times call for desperate measures so I am also trying to avoid wheat, nuts, and sugar. Even though the allergy test didn't say I was allergic to any of these, I could have an intolerance. I've been recording what I eat and I seem to get more hives when I eat wheat, nuts, and sugar. Right now I am willing to try just about anything to get rid of the hives. 

The past 3 weeks have been very hard for many reasons. The hives is a major cause but God is teaching me through this. I am a very disciplined person. I like to get up somewhat early, exercise, and be productive with my days. This has not happened since the hives. I went for a run and the hives spread and were even more irritating. Exercising made them worse. I decided to stop exercising until the hives were gone. 

God is breaking me and stripping me of anything and everything I have put above Him. You don't realize how important something is to you until you can't have it. Revelation 2:4 says that the church of Ephesus forsake their first love - Jesus Christ. When we put anything above God, when anything is more important to us than God, we have forsaken our first love. I didn't realize how important exercising, eating whatever I wanted, and being in control was to me. The hives have forced me to give it all up and over to God. I am not in control of these hives at all. For all I know I could wake up with an eye swollen shut (this has happened twice already). 

I have cried more in the past 3 weeks than I have in a long time. I see God working. I feel broken and empty. All I have is Him. All I need is Him. I thought I would feel a lot different in the weeks before I left for Nigeria. I didn't think I would feel empty. I am going to Nigeria to pour out to others. But how can I do that if I am empty? But that's just it. I'm not empty. I have Christ. 

I am leaving Charlotte on Tuesday, February 4th at 12:30pm. I will be flying to JFK and out of New York at 4:25. I will then go to Paris and should arrive in Paris at at 5:30am. Both Paris and Nigeria are 6 hours ahead of North Carolina. I will leave Paris at 11am Wednesday, February 5 and arrive in Abuja at 4:55pm. Someone from SIM is going to pick me up from the airport and I am going to stay in a guesthouse in Abuja Wednesday night. On Thursday I will drive about 3 or so hours to Jos, where I will be living. 

I am excited for all of this to happen and to share my experiences and adventures with you! Please pray for me. 

Pray

+for good health - and even if these hives don't go away for a while, pray that I would rejoice and find joy

+Energy and strength 

+safety

+quick adjustment to time change and living on my own

+good company in Jos

2 Corinthians 1:3-7